Our Savior's Revenge (Meteor Survival) app for iPhone and iPad

The rumors are true,

Nothillary was competing to become best kitchen girl when she leaked emails containing sensitive recipes. This recipe leak resulted in the death of many, many, restaurants. In desperation, Nothillary brainwashed a guerrilla, or warrior, named *CENSORED*. She brainwashed Our Savior and condemned him to Hell, forcing him to carry her secret emails full of recipes with him. Now the go-fern-men (The men who were in charge of the kitchen she was competing to run) would never be able to find these emails she thought...

NOT True--

Working with the FBI (Federal Bananas of Investigation) you are on a mission to recover these emails. Using brand new technology you are sent down to Hell on a mission to bring back the truth to America. Be careful though, Our Savior remains brainwashed, and will do anything to keep you away from these emails and cast you back out of Hell. Dodging meteors, tornados, and keeping out of the lava --

Only you can stop Nothillary, only you can Make America NotBad Again.

DISCLAIMER:
Our Savior is not a reference to a gorilla or any other celebrity, god, or idol.
There are no references to celebrities, artists, musicians, persons, or products. All parts of this app are completely made up.